How COVID-19 made Harry Potter more relatable

I allow myself the pleasure of revisiting the Harry Potter series for one of two reasons: 1) the strong desire to be transported back into the wizarding world becomes too distracting to ignore, or 2) I need to escape my present circumstances.

For the reread I just finished, it was the latter. Starting a new job during a pandemic hasn't exactly been a picnic; almost as stressful as the brief unemployment stint that preceded it. "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home," J.K. Rowling says, and I needed home—a familiar home unaffected by personal and world events—in a big way.

But still the coronavirus would not be ignored. Not only had it changed my work life, my home life, and my social life, but it was bleeding into my imaginary life, too. I started seeing Harry Potter/COVID-19 parallels everywhere. 

Book 2, for instance, might as well be a COVID-19 allegory. Hogwarts is threatened by a monster no one understands. Quidditch is canceled. (I feel your pain on a whole new level now, Oliver Wood.) Lockhart is that guy who thinks he understands what's going on better than people with PhDs and decades of experience. Ernie Macmillan echoes what everyone has been preaching lately when he says, "We're all in the same boat."

There are little moments scattered throughout the series that brought me back to reality, again and again. Witches and wizards just trying to get their essential shopping over with so they can return to their homes, away from the boarded up shops and worried shoppers. Dementors making everyone more stressed, worried, depressed. When the trio is camping for months, Harry feels the isolation deeply, even though he knows his isolation is necessary for his safety and, ultimately, the liberation of the wizarding world. Fred and George can't go to work with Death Eaters after them, so they try to run their business via mail order from their aunt's house. 

Art reflects life, and in this case art became an unwelcome prophecy fulfilled. A picture of what life would become when our world was threatened by something so big it would change even the smallest details of our lives. 

But at least in Harry's case, he got a magical education and exciting adventures. We only get the residual effects of a contagious virus, without J.K. Rowling's hilarious asides to lighten the mood. Harry had foes he could go out and fight, while our best defense is to hide, knowing that there will be casualties whatever we do.

But what I envy most about Harry Potter is this: his battles had endings. He left the Dursleys and found friends. Love. He won Quidditch matches, the Triwizard Tournament. He escaped Voldemort several times, and eventually defeated him. He made mistakes and sustained heavy losses along the way, but always, he got an ending.

What we're dealing with right now doesn't feel like a story with an ending. It feels like a new reality that we're just going to have to get used to. People keep talking about "when life goes back to normal," but the normal we remember may be gone for good. 

We're living in unprecedented times. Not the kind of historical moment that captures people's imaginations and inspires novels about time travelers. But the kind that people read about in history books and say, "Boy, I'm glad I wasn't alive for that."

Closing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the last time always leaves me aching. Not to mention reluctant to return to my world. Even more so this time, since the thing I wanted to escape when I dove into these books just over a month ago is still here. Harry's story ended, but ours is still going, frozen in an unending stream of gray days.

Nobody really wants to live during hard times. Harry didn't particularly like living through unprecedented experiences, either. But he survived it. The bullying, the dangers, the pressures, the heartbreak—all of it. And what are stories for if not to remind us of the resiliency of the human spirit? Maybe we don't get an ending just yet. Maybe we have to settle for a simple reminder that we have what it takes to keep going until one day things are better.

It doesn't seem like much. But, as Harry learns, it's "the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew—and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world" (Half-Blood Prince, chapter 23).

I'll leave you with a few more stray thoughts before I resume my Potterless life.

• This reread was unique because I read the UK editions. I figured it was time I experienced the books in their original language. The differences were most prominent in books 1 and 2; by book 4 the only differences I noticed were spelling and punctuation/grammar. For the most part I loved the covers, but I did miss the Mary GrandPré illustrations. Something to look forward to next time.
• My favorites order has been disrupted again. It's now 7, 3, 5, 6, 4, 1, 2. (My last reread left me at 7, 4, 3, 6, 5, 1, 2.) 5-7 were especially good this time.
• My new favorite character is Harry. That boy doesn't get enough love from the fandom. 
• It took me 20 years to get here, but I finally started to develop some sympathy for Percy. Not joining a Percy Weasley fan club any time soon, though.

A break in Florida with my people

The occasional vacating of your life, breaking away from routine, is a health benefit I think we can all get behind. It's even better when you spend your time away from normalcy with "your people." People who get you. People who share your interests. People you've known for a long, long time.

I'm fresh off a week spent with three distinct groups of people that others may not have enjoyed spending time with, but who made the trip extra special for me.

Group 1: Editors

Despite our reputation for being rule-abiding sticklers, boring introverts, and proud grammar Nazis, editors are actually a pretty fun group of people. (And let's not refer to us as grammar Nazis anymore—we've decided to use "grammando" instead. Come on, help me get this trending.)


ACES is a special conference. It's a place where I can get a "word nerd" pin and everyone around me covets it. Finding typos in PowerPoint presentations is a competition rather than something that just makes you roll your eyes (yes, typos wriggle their way even into editors' presentations). It's the best opportunity I have all year to commiserate with, learn from, and buddy up with people who understand what it's like to have a career dedicated to words. Half the world thinks we can be replaced with software, but we know there's more to our jobs than properly punctuating sentences. Editing is much more of an art than it is a science, and it involves far more people management than most people realize. But my people? They get it.


While last year editors were abuzz with the news that AP would lowercase "internet," this year was all about the partial acceptance of the singular "they" (the "they" that refers to someone who wishes to remain anonymous or who prefers "they" as their personal pronoun). Despite being in use for hundreds of years—even Shakespeare used the singular they!—and despite most editors being completely on board with adopting it fully, so many people are still clinging to the "it's not grammatically correct!" argument. But the fact is, language changes—even *gasp* the meaning of words—and nothing else has come anywhere close to filling the generic pronoun need. Most editors are going to keep fighting for singular they's complete acceptance, even if it means we'll have to pass the torch on to the next generation of editors.

This is from one of my favorite sessions—Kory Stamper's reading of her new book Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries. Kory makes my people look cool. (I'm in this picture, FYI. And I do not look cool.)

Chicago also finally took out the hyphen in email, but I guess that's not quite as exciting because that's what we've all been doing anyway. The announcement still got a pretty raucous cheer, though.

But lest you think editing conferences are full of happy friends who agree on everything, certain debates can get dicey. Particularly those between AP and Chicago frenemies.

The mug that inspired this picture says "4 Copy Editors Killed in Ongoing AP Style, Chicago Manual Gang Violence." Sorry, Nick, I'm pretty sure I'm winning. My Chicago sunglasses give me superpowers. And Chicago is better. Obviously.

And if you get to check out a bookstore and walk along a lovely beach with another one of your people, you count yourself very fortunate.

I was sad to see the first part of my trip end, but I consoled myself with the knowledge that my next "group" of people was on their way to pick me up.

Group 2: Mom and Dad

When I casually mentioned that I was going to make a stop at Harry Potter World while I was in Florida, my parents pulled out their phones and immediately started working out how they could meet me there. Before I could really process what was happening, we had a mini vacation planned, just the three of us.

Not everyone would be thrilled to hang out with their parents at an amusement park, but I've always liked my parents more than is really normal. And I think I'm old enough now that I don't have to be embarrassed by that anymore. Besides, my dad is super handy to have around for these types of things.

Group 3: Potterheads

My parents dropping everything to go to Harry Potter World for the third time should give you a little insight into why I am the way that I am. I wanted to fully immerse myself in the Harry Potter experience while I was at Universal, and my parents—and the bajillion other fans crammed into that little park—were 100% supportive of that. Of all the fandoms to be a part of, Harry Potter is one of the best.

Like every other witch and wizard, we started our journey to Hogwarts in London.

We tried to pay Sirius Black a visit, but for some reason he was out. 😭😭😭

So we proceeded to Diagon Alley. Walking through that busted brick wall is seriously like stepping into the movie. You're walking innocently along in the mundane Muggle world, and then BAM. You're in the wizarding world.

I was too intimidated by the goblins to ask for a withdrawal, but the ride was cool! I wish we had been able to go on it more than once, but it was broken down the second and third time we went back. I suspect nargles were involved.

After buying Sirius Black's wand (I now own seven wands—eight if you count my remote control wand), I was morally obligated to add something from  Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes to my ever-growing Harry Potter collection. I'm sure that U-No-Poo will come in handy at work. (Don't worry, guys—they're basically just M&M's.)

Then we had lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. I love saying that. I gave the cold Butterbeer a try, and it was tasty. But I still like the frozen Butterbeer better. Just don't drink them both in one day—you might get drunk from sugar.

The Hogwarts Express also feels like the real deal. Even standing in line at King's Cross Station is cool.

However, I was forced to take a brief break from being a wizard to figure out how to best word this sign so as to not confuse its American audience. I don't really know how to turn off my "edit" mode.

ANYWAY, back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore was nice enough to let me visit again.

This is the only part of the park where you remember you're not actually in Hogsmeade. The snow on the rooftops certainly looks cozy, but the effect isn't powerful enough to counteract the Florida heat.

I also tried to sneak into the Ministry of Magic,

but that was pushing my luck. Even Dumbledore couldn't persuade them to let me in.

And with that, the fantasy ended. Soon after, we left Harry's world behind.

The good feeling of being amongst my type of people disappeared the next morning when I was seated next to a lady with a cat on our five-hour flight home. But I guess I had it coming—the week leading up to that moment was perfect, so karma had to even things out a bit. (Luckily, my allergy shots are doing their job; otherwise, I would have been a sneezy mess of itchy misery the whole time.)

So, this year's word nerd vacation was a soaring success. Can't wait to see how next year turns out.

Some thoughts from my latest Harry Potter re-read

I have this fear that I'll eventually have read Harry Potter so many times that the joy they bring into my life will disintegrate. It's one reason I put forth so much energy in restraining myself from diving into the books again whenever I feel the urge. (Every few hours or so.)

But if there's one thing I can count on, it's that the need to read Harry Potter will eventually become too distracting to ignore. I have to allow myself this treat occasionally—my mental health demands it.

The "wizzy sense" started hitting me hard at the beginning of the year. My family started a Harry Potter movie marathon around New Years, and I finished it on my own after life went back to normal. Thoughts like "You've never gone so long without reading the Harry Potter series—you might have actually forgotten stuff by now" and "You did say you would allow yourself to read whatever you wanted this year" and "You actually do need this in your life right now" kept flitting through my mind.

So I gave in. And turns out, I did need Harry Potter right now. We're undergoing some pretty major changes at work, which means my workload has doubled and I'm working through some new challenges. My nightly escapades into Harry Potter's world have been a steady comfort and de-stressing mechanism, something I needed to keep me sane.

As for my fear that the Harry Potter magic would be watered down on—for some books—my 12th read, I needn't have worried. When you've got a story as good as this masterpiece, each reading experience will be a little bit different. Because you're different. That's the mark of a great book—it just keeps giving.

Some other thoughts I had during this re-read:

I've changed a lot as a reader in the last 3.5 years. Since the last time I read the series, I've really upped my reading game. My to-read pile just got bigger during the month or so I was dedicated to Harry Potter, and I felt guilty neglecting it for something I'd already experienced several times. Which made reading Harry Potter both a sacrifice and an indulgence. It also meant that for the first time ever, I didn't try to stretch the reading experience out as long as possible. Instead I let myself plow through it without restraint, which felt a bit like eating the forbidden ice cream straight from the carton. I'm also hoping that knowing I have so many other good reads waiting for me will make the Harry Potter Withdrawals less intense this time. Although I know the crushing feeling of loss will be unavoidable tonight.

This is the first time I've read the series during the winter. In the past, I've always read them in the summer and fall; I don't think I've ever read Harry Potter during a snowstorm. And what could be cozier than reading Harry Potter on a snowy day next to a cheery fireplace with a steaming mug of hot cocoa in your hand? Nothing, I tell you. It was also great to have a reliable source to stave off the gloom of January and February. BYU basketball usually does that for me, but not this year.

New(ish) character standouts. Every time I read the series, I appreciate different characters more, or I understand old favorites differently. This time, Kreacher stood out. His constant mutterings to himself are hilarious, guys, especially when Hermione is trying to be nice to him. And then he makes my heart grow three sizes when Harry finally starts being nice to him and you see how much he thrives.

Sirius' death still is, and probably always will be, the hardest death for me. I don't know why I keep putting myself through it.

Professor McGonagall is my hero—I want to be just like her when I grow up. She's a perfect example of something you appreciate more as you get older. I didn't care all that much about the teachers when I was a kid, but I can't get enough of her now. Maybe I love her so much because we're pretty similar in some ways, but I've got a looooong way to go before I achieve her level of awesomeness.

And then there's Ron. The movies do a huge disservice to him by making him a bumbling sidekick and giving all his good lines to Hermione. He has so much to offer that so often gets brushed aside. It's usually Ron, not Hermione, who is first to say to Harry, "We're coming with you, mate." He's a good friend in ways Hermione isn't because he's not a bossypants. He is the sun that makes everything better, something that becomes blatantly obvious whenever he's not around. And his sense of humor—especially during stressful situations—is fantastic, something the movies are never able to capture despite relegating him to the role of comic relief. ("I don't know how to break it to you, but they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts." Ron, I love you so much.) Ron isn't perfect, but he's real. It makes me angry sometimes how much the movies (and even the fandom) undervalue him.

And while I'm on the topic of undervalued movie-Weasleys—Ginny. That is one fabulous character (another one I want to be like when I grow up), and what the movies did to her is a travesty.

It is possible for me to love a book (other than book 7) more than book 3. I didn't think any of the books would knock book 3 out of its solid spot in second place, but this time book 4 did it. It's fascinating to me how much my favorites order changes with each re-read. For instance, last time it went like this: 7, 3, 5, 4, 6, 1, 2. This time all but three changed spots: 7, 4, 3, 6, 5, 1, 2. Like I said earlier, each re-read is a new experience.

The 2013 order. I'm too sad to take a picture of the 2017 order.

J.K. Rowling will go down in history as using more ellipses than any author, living or dead. She tones it down by book 5, but man all those dot-dot-dots bugged me.

It's a post–Cursed Child/Fantastic Beasts world. I refuse to accept Cursed Child as canon, but it was interesting reading the series—nearly 10 years after the last book was published—with some fresh HP material to consider. I paid more attention to Dumbledore's backstory in particular, which the Fantastic Beasts movie has given more depth to. Especially relating to Ariana. And now that we know the adorable Newt Scamander, I am 1000% OK with Luna marrying his grandson. So perfect.

And with that, it's over again. I'm a little heartbroken. Again. But this isn't really the end. (And let's be honest—I'm never far from Harry Potter's world anyway.) I'll be back at it before too long.

All about Newt

The main reason I started this blog was so I'd have a medium to dump and organize my thoughts when my journal just wasn't cutting it. But sometimes I get lazy and expect those thoughts to go away of their own accord, which rarely works, and often means they start invading my dreams. For example, the last couple of days I've dreamed about Fantastic Beasts and OMG NEWT SCAMANDER IS ADORABLE AND EDDIE REDMAYNE IS BRILLIANT. I kid you not, these dreams are shouty all-caps dreams. On repeat.

I get it, brain; you loved Fantastic Beasts, and you won't be silenced until I talk about why.

My excitement for the new Gilmore Girls episodes has overshadowed everything else in my life lately, so I went to the movie on opening weekend more out of Harry Potter loyalty than actual excitement. These days the Harry Potter franchise just lets me down, so my expectations weren't high.

I should go into every movie like this; it's almost a guarantee that I'll be pleasantly surprised. The pleasant surprise was delightful, and brought back a little bit of that feeling I wish I could bottle up of reading a Harry Potter book for the first time. I loved not knowing what was going to happen, and I loved not having a book to compare it to. The only "that's not how I imagined it" moment was with the niffler—I imagined them to be fluffier and less possum-like. It was freeing and wonderful experiencing a J.K. Rowling creation onscreen first. I was able to enjoy this film in ways I just wasn't able to experience the eight Harry Potter movies, no matter how excited I was for them.

But that's all secondary to Newt Scamander himself. I had heard beforehand from a few different sources that Eddie Redmayne "underacted" and was too dull to do a JKR hero justice.

I COULD NOT DISAGREE MORE. (Yes, those all-caps were necessary.)

Because I know this guy. He avoids eye contact, like my brother does. He seems to hide behind the hair that falls over one side of his face, kind of like my sister does with her jackets. He is most at ease when he's doing what he's good at but clearly isn't in his element when he's around people (again, like my brother). He develops close bonds with a select number of people and doesn't really need anybody else, like me.

He doesn't just feel familiar; I understood him right away, though it took me a while to put my finger on why. This is a guy cut from the same cloth as my people—shy, introverted, perhaps with some Asperger's tendencies—but portrayed in a real, natural way rather than as an obvious caricature anyone can pick up on immediately. Newt is just Newt, and every acting choice Eddie Redmayne makes feeds into that. (He's a genius, I tell you. Give him a raise.) Behind his uncharismatic outside demeanor is a lovable, endlessly interesting soul that is so much more than his social awkwardness and unique talents. I cannot stress enough how great it is to root for a hero who, without his case of magical creatures, would be living silently and invisibly among us.

I may not make it until the DVD comes out to watch this movie again. And I can assure you I'll be properly excited for the next movie.

Manufactured magic: What happened after "all was well"

When the last Harry Potter movie was released in 2011, a lot of people assumed the Harry Potter fandom would finally start to settle down. Of course, those of us who live and breathe the books knew better; no way was the lack of new material going to temper our passion.

And we were right. Potterheads are as dedicated as ever. We still go to conventions. We still read and discuss the books. And the original Harry Potter generation is already introducing this incredible story to their kids. (I'm resigning myself to the fact that my kids will probably hate Harry Potter just because I love it, because rotten kids tend to get their just reward when they pass on their genes. My only hope is that I came around to Lord of the Rings eventually, and Chris Pine managed what my parents earnestly tried but could not do—get me to enjoy a Star Trek movie.)

In fact, it turns out that we weren't done getting new Harry Potter material. In just five years, we got Pottermore, tons of information on the Harry Potter world and even some on the North American wizarding school, a promise for at least three movies about New Scamander of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them fame, and a play. JKR invited us further into the world she created (although Potterheads prefer to say "discovered") with her sorting and wand selection quizzes, and even gave us "live" updates on the Quidditch Final in 2014 (spoiler: Krum won). And that's not even getting into theme parks, merchandise, and endless amounts of fan-created content. It doesn't take a business genius to see the money-making opportunities in Harry Potter, so of course people with marketing teams got involved to "give the people what they want."

We drank it all up, and kept demanding more. I'm as guilty of this as anyone.

But after reading Cursed Child (stop reading if you want to avoid spoilers) and getting a sense for how my fellow Potterheads feel about this new branch of "canon," I finally started to see what's happening to the franchise. It's just what the Harry Potter grinches have been predicting for years—continuing a story that has a solid conclusion would only dilute it until it is no longer recognizable. It took Voldemort and Bellatrix having a daughter and Harry being afraid of pigeons for me to see it. JKR's voice, which is what made Harry Potter most special, is slowly being phased out.

The amount of pressure JKR has experienced because of Harry Potter has got to be tremendous. Someone without her talent and sense of humor would probably have had a mental breakdown by now. Passionate fans aren't a whole lot different from gluttonous beasts, and no matter how much information she feeds us, we're never going to be completely satisfied. And those trying to capitalize on Harry Potter's guaranteed money-making powers are even more persistent than fans who just want to know what Moaning Myrtle's middle name is. Warner Brothers and other corporations are going to take the Harry Potter cash cow and keep running with it, whether JKR is on board or not. So she got involved with the Fantastic Beasts trilogy, and signed off on the play. Because she loves Harry Potter too and wants to do right by her fans. And no artist wants to see her creation tarnished by someone else.

But it's clear that her heart isn't into it. Not like it was 10 years ago.

We have no one but ourselves to blame. We wanted more, and we kept getting it—now we're to the point where a writer who is not JKR thought he could get away with having the "canon" Harry Potter say something like, "You don't understand, because you don't have kids" to Professor McGonagall (in an alternative universe, sure, but alternate universes don't belong in Harry Potter anyway).

As I've talked about on this blog many times, I love getting anything Harry Potter related, and I'm not ready to telegraph a "cease and desist" order to JKR. And while the charm, wonder, and—gosh, I'll just say it—magic of the original seven books will always be there, the franchise as it currently stands feels manufactured. Like Squibs trying to imitate the world they can't truly be a part of. Perhaps it's time to start tapping on the brakes. Or—imagine this—let JKR take back her control, even if it means we never get another word on Harry Potter.

9 years later: Reading a new Harry Potter book for the first time

For those of you who cautiously clicked through, don't worry; there won't be spoilers here. Not really.

Ya'll know my thoughts on the so-called 8th Harry Potter story. I would much rather have a novel we can all enjoy than a play only a few can experience.

But when the script went on sale for pre-order, of course I ordered a copy—a new piece of Harry's world was waiting to be discovered, and ignoring it simply wasn't an option.

I was a little annoyed when I realized that July 31 was a Sunday, which meant I'd have to wait an extra day to read the book. Uncle Vernon won that round.

But still, it wasn't too big of a problem. It was like that Christmas before I was a true Harry Potter fan and chose to read my Nancy Drew books before I read books 2 and 3 of the Harry Potter series. I'd get to it eventually.

Which is why I was a little surprised that when I sat down with the book I got a little emotional. The dust jacket has the same texture as my other Harry Potter books. The book design is the same. It felt like a Harry Potter book, and it dawned on me that I was reading a new Harry Potter book for the first time in nine years. No, it wouldn't be quite the same, but it was new Harry Potter canon nonetheless—that's not something you can just brush aside.

In traditional Harry Potter fashion, I stayed up too late finishing it, and then had to sit down and jot down some of my thoughts before attempting to sleep. Therapy for Harry Potter withdrawals won't be required this time because the script isn't on that level of literary magic, nor did I expect it to be, but, come on. It's Harry Potter. Of course I have thoughts.

(If you're one of those who considers impressions spoilers, I would advise that you stop reading now.)

Did I enjoy it? Yes, more than I thought I would (though it's definitely got problems). Do I think it would make a good play? Absolutely, and I'd love to see it. The writers managed to convince me that a play would be a fun way to tell this story, more so than a movie would be, even. But I stand by what I've said for years—there's no better medium for Harry Potter than a novel written by J.K. Rowling. It's no contest. Reading the script was a bit like watching it through a foggy window—you grasp enough to know what's going on, but you don't truly experience it.

Did it feel like Harry Potter? Well, sort of. Tone-wise, it felt most like Sorcerer's Stone; lighthearted with some dark moments. But mostly it felt like fan fiction to me, and that's because of the plot, not the format. However, it was delightful seeing the trio, Ginny, and Draco as adults. Some of the lines made me laugh out loud. Some made my heart twinge a bit.

It wasn't the type of experience that made me a devoted Potterhead for life, but it was still a continuation of a story I love so much. And that's enough. Just knowing that Harry and co. are still out there, dealing with parental struggles and magical problems while we stalk them with the best of our Muggle capabilities, is comforting. JKR didn't have to let us into their lives again, but she did, and honestly, I'm grateful for whatever I can get.

Now, I wanted to do some kind of recap of my reactions to the play, so I took some notes as I went along.

Again, there aren't any blatant spoilers, but depending on how well you know me and Harry Potter, you may be able to guess what some of my vague exclamations mean. I doubt it, though.

Be ye warned.

pg. 17: WHAT.
pg. 29: JKR, do you really want to go down that road again?
pg. 48: Oh no!
pg. 52: This is starting to sound like that Harry Potter Musical on YouTube.
pg. 55: Now this is the kind of magical backstory I was hoping for.
pg. 59. Wait, did I read that right? ::Pauses:: Actually, that's not surprising.
pg. 67: Oh, Ron. Nobody can lighten the mood like you can.
pg. 78: Okay, this scene would be hilarious to watch.
pg. 81: Don't touch those books!
pg. 82: I told you not to touch those books. What would Grandpa Weasley say?
pg. 91: This better not mean what I think it means.
pg. 106: WHAT? It actually worked?
pg. 115: Oh, Harry. Dumbledore was right about you.
pg. 118: Gosh dang it, look what you did to Ron!
pg. 122: Ugh, Harry, stop being such a jerk.
pg. 125: See, this is why Hermione needs Ron.
pg. 135: Harry cooks?
pg. 136: Who would have thought that Draco and Ginny would have something in common?
pg. 144: Always. Sniff.
pg. 147. AND THIS IS WHY RON NEEDS HERMIONE.
pg. 160: Okay, I know that wasn't supposed to be funny, but I can't stop laughing.
pg. 183: Did _____ seriously just crack a joke?
pg. 187: Stop trying to make me like _____.
pg. 195: I mean it.
pg. 223: This play is worth it for the Ron and Hermione scenes alone.
pg. 224: I hope canceling on the goblins doesn't come back to bite you.
pg. 249: Awwwwwww.
pg. 258: Awwwwwww. ::fake cries::
pg. 273: Yay! Ron gets to go with them this time!
pg. 274: Draco learned that from Voldemort, I'll bet.
pg. 277: #TeamBookGinny
pg. 280: This just got really weird.
pg. 287: I KNEW IT!
pg. 298: Finally! I've been waiting for _____ to show up.
pg. 306: Hmm. That's new.

I am Thunderbird, hear me roar

I've been a little on the outs with J.K. Rowling lately because she made The Cursed Child a play instead of a book. But her awesome sense of humor and continued dedication to the wizarding world make it hard to stay mad at her. And today she gave Potterheads a treat I wasn't expecting—a Sorting for Ilvermorny, the American Hogwarts!

First of all, go read the history of Ilvermorny. It's great. Some things I found especially interesting:

• The school was founded by a descendent of Slytherin and a Muggle (okay, fine, No-Maj)
• Students don't get a wand until they get to school, and they're not allowed to take wands home until they come of age (17, just like in the UK)
• Ilvermorny has four houses, all named after magical creatures
• Enchanted carvings representing each house select the students they want in their house. If more than one carving claims a student, the student decides which house to join.
• Slytherin's wand was buried for reasons, and within a year a snakewood tree had grown in its place, which has powerful medicinal properties. I love this part: "This tree seemed testament to the fact that Slytherin's wand, like his scattered descendants, encompassed both noble and ignoble. The very best of him seemed to have migrated to America."

Seriously, read the whole thing. It's a delight.

Now, about the houses. I was a little worried they'd be copycats of the Hogwarts houses, especially since Isolt, one of the founders, based much of the school on what she had heard about Hogwarts while living in Ireland (she later escaped from her crazy-evil aunt aboard the Mayflower). But the houses don't match up—the best comparison I can come up with is that America has two Gryffindor houses, a Ravenclaw/Slytherin combo, and a sort-of Hufflepuff. Still, that's not really an accurate description, so just leave the Hogwarts houses in the UK and the Ilvermorny houses in the US.

A quick introduction to the magical creatures the houses are named after:

• Horned Serpent—a "great horned river serpent with a jewel set into its forehead"
• Pukwudgie—"a short, grey-faced, large-eared creature"
• Thunderbird—a creature that "can create storms as it flies"
• Wampus—"a magical, panther-like creature that is fast, strong and almost impossible to kill"

And there's also this tidbit:

It is sometimes said of the Ilvermorny houses that they represent the whole witch or wizard: the mind is represented by Horned Serpent; the body, Wampus; the heart, Pukwudgie and the soul, Thunderbird. Others say that Horned Serpent favours scholars, Wampus, warriors, Pukwudgie, healers and Thunderbird, adventurers. 

I originally thought I would be a Horned Serpent; it sounds like a melding of Ravenclaw and Slytherin, which is what I've often considered myself to be. But at the end of my sorting, it was the Thunderbird that flapped its wings.

You don't need to convince me further—I love this house already. Sure, I love books and cleverness, but adventures? Those are essential to having an interesting existence. And while I value knowledge and learning above most other things, I think a person is truly defined by their individuality and beliefs rather than by what they know. I'm a proud Ravenclaw for life, but I'm liking more and more that Ilvermorny sees me as more of a soulful adventurer; I'd rather have that on my headstone than "intellectual."

Now, it's your turn! Where does the American Hogwarts sort you?

Lord Voldemort's reply

To an unworthy Muggle:

The Dark Lord has received your letter, and would have gladly accepted your proposal were it not for your Muggle sensitivities. Upon reading that you had resorted to Muggle remedies to alleviate your suffering, the Dark Lord knew you were not fit for his great cause.

The Dark Lord usually disposes of those who waste his time, but I am certain he had forgotten about you within seconds of setting your letter aflame. However, being his most faithful servant, I have noticed that those who annoy him are often cursed in some way. Since you are a lowly Muggle, I suspect you are now afflicted with a common cold, another silly ailment that Muggles can't cure.

This is your warning to not bother the Dark Lord again; next time he won't be so generous.

Sincerely,
Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail

A letter to Lord Voldemort

To the Dark Lord:

At the risk of you AK-ing me on the spot, I have a confession to make: I am a big fan of your arch-nemesis. What can I say—I like sassy underdogs who know how to give proper hugs. Everyone knows this about me, and I see no point in hiding this fact from a great Legilimens like yourself.

But there is something I desire that I'm afraid the Potter boy can't provide.

You see, for about eight months out of the year, I am plagued by something generally referred to as allergies. I'll spare you the sordid details, but just know that I've spent many a day wishing my nose away.

In following the Potter boy's story, I noticed something about your inspiring rise to powerful evilness: somewhere along the way, your nose slowly transformed into a new, less imposing part of your facial structure. And I often wondered, does the Dark Lord ever experience a runny nose or have to fight the urge to attack an incessant itch? (Forgive me for thinking of you in such mundane terms.) Does he ever fear what will happen if he strolls through a vibrant field of luscious grass and blooming flowers?

Silly, frivolous problems, perhaps, but it's enough to make me wish every spring that I could be more like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Powerful. Crafty. And most importantly, immune to pollen.

After getting by for weeks on unsatisfactory Muggle remedies, I've finally decided to take more drastic action. Harry Potter can't cure my allergies—the best he can do is a quick fix on the inevitable day when I finally break my nose by violent scratching—but you can rid my face of the offending appendage altogether. I can't think of a more attractive solution to my problem.

In return for this service, you will gain a faithful Ravenclaw for life and one less fighter for Harry Potter's cause. If this proposition intrigues you, please respond by owl by the end of April.

Sincerely,

A potential Death Eater

A short(ish) rant

Sometimes people make me tired, and I really don't like them very much. This week it's been because of the backlash against J.K. Rowling's Pottermore updates on the North American wizarding community. You'll have to read those updates yourself, but people have been extremely irate about the content. They're accusing J.K. Rowling of not doing her homework and using sweeping generalizations about a country she knows little about, and, of course, they keep bringing up the bitter, unoriginal argument that this is just another cash grab.

Maybe the critics are right (except for that last point)—American history is a lot more complex than those mini-essays suggest.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

J.K. Rowling gave the world an incredible gift when she shared Harry's story with the world. She has every right to craft that story however she wants. Fans (and haters) have no right to demand that new details conform perfectly with their hopes and politically correct agendas. Personally, I love hearing about any details she releases, but with the loud voices of easily offended Americans cluttering, well, everything, I wouldn't be surprised if J.K. Rowling kept things to herself from now on.

Is there a spell you can cast over an entire country to help people lighten up? That should be in J.K. Rowling's next update.

35 ways to celebrate Harry Potter's birthday

I often celebrate Harry Potter-related dates more enthusiastically than I do Muggle holidays. Halloween is a day to mourn James and Lily, not go to wild parties. April Fools' Day calls for birthday cake commemorating Fred and George's birth, not pulling obnoxious pranks on our coworkers.

So Harry Potter's birthday, in my opinion, should be an international holiday. And here are 35 ways to celebrate it (in honor of Harry's 35th birthday).

1. Don't go to work.

2. Go to Harry Potter World.

3. Eat at the Three Broomsticks.

4. Drink frozen butterbeer until you either die from a brain freeze or go off on a sugar high.

5. Then eat a chocolate frog.

6. Actually, eat lots of chocolate. There are Dementors out there.

7. Write an article about someone, Rita Skeeter style.

8. Or, hand-write a letter to someone you haven't seen in a while. 

9. Play a game of Quidditch.

10. Orchestrate your own Triwizard Tournament.

11. Catch up on Pottermore.

12. Read as many pages of the Harry Potter books as you can.

13. Or, watch as many of the movies as you can in fast motion.

14. Take a bath with a giant golden egg.

15. Take a nap in a cupboard, preferably one under the stairs.

16. Walk up to someone and say, "I see thestrals."

17. Show off your House pride.

18. Or, have a Sorting ceremony.

19. Find someone who hasn't read Harry Potter (an arduous task) and convince them to read the books. You'll change their life.

20. Wear mis-matched socks.

21. Visit Platform 9 3/4. That's in London.

22. Dress up as your favorite Harry Potter character, even if it's the Whomping Willow. Especially if it's the Whomping Willow.

23. Take your wands off your display case and have a duel with someone.

24. Wish J.K. Rowling a happy birthday.

25. Send your favorite teacher some crystallized pineapple.

26. Look something up in the library instead of on the internet.

27. Every time someone tells you to do something, say "My father will hear about this."

28. Play the Harry Potter trivia game you made.

29. Pretend you're Arthur Weasley and get excited about rubber ducks and escalators (I mean, escapaders).

30. Tell Microsoft to stop underlining Harry Potter terms like Patronus and Dementor.

31. Write an essay about why Muggles need electricity.

32. If you haven't already, contemplate on what your Boggart or Patronus would be.

33. Refer to every girl's bathroom as the Chamber of Secrets.

34. Say "Expelliarmus" every time someone challenges you in any way.

35. But most importantly, get into mischief.

A breakdown of the Hogwarts houses

Each Hogwarts house is known for a few specific qualities, but the people in each house possess qualities that fit in each of the other houses, as well. The right combination of certain qualities could land you in one house even if it seems like you belong in another (see: Hermione); furthermore, it's the way you choose to use certain qualities that set you apart from students in other houses.

Which gives me the perfect opportunity to break down each of the houses according to one trait: boldness.

Gryffindor

Let's start with the obvious, shall we? During Harry's 4th year, the Sorting Hat says it flat out: "Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor." In Muggle terms, the Gryffindors are the jocks of Hogwarts: cocky, daring, more than willing to break the rules. But they're also chivalrous and brave, basically making them the coolest house at Hogwarts.

Ravenclaw

Ravenclaw is where "those with wit and learning, will always find their kind." They use their boldness to fuel their creativity. As pointed out in the Ravenclaw welcome letter on Pottermore, Ravenclaws "are the most individual—some might even call them eccentrics. But geniuses are often out of step with ordinary folk, and unlike some other houses we could name, we think you've got the right to wear what you like, believe what you want, and say what you feel. We aren't put off by people who march to a different tune." Proud Ravenclaw, right here.

Slytherin

Slytherins are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. This doesn't necessarily make them evil; it just means they're ambitious. While a Ravenclaw will go to untold lengths to find the answer to a perplexing question, Slytherins will chase their dreams just as far. They tend to be much more subtle about how they go about achieving their goals (just look at Voldemort—he was a sneak through and through), which is one of several reasons why I think I'd be a Slytherin if I weren't a Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff

Hufflepuffs get a bad rap for being pushovers, but when faced with a moral battle, I have no doubt that the Puffs would win. They are extremely loyal, and are far more concerned with welcoming people with open arms than worrying about what people think about them. Theirs is a quiet strength, but don't forget that when the moment of truth comes, they'll be a second behind the Gryffindors to charge boldly forward. (And they're only a second because they're more likely to think before they act. I can't say the same for Gryffindors.)



This is a part of a 31-day series on bold living. Harry Potter references have somehow found their way into several of these posts. I'm not obsessed or anything.

In which I become slightly obsessed with podcasts

A few months ago, I was only listening to one podcast. I had caught up on all of the episodes, and actually had to wait for episodes to come out. This was annoying primarily because it meant I no longer had daily Harry Potter discussions to look forward to. It also meant I needed to find something else to listen to on my walks.

So music it was.

But it's not as fun to listen to music when you can't sing along. I may be willing to verbalize my thoughts to the Alohomora! hosts, but singing along to music no one else can hear is a crazy I'm not comfortable succumbing to.

Then if finally occurred to me—I should listen to other podcasts!

I immediately began my research, and started paying more attention to podcast mentions from people who have similar interests. While I first searched for entertainment, I quickly realized I could use podcasts to quench my thirst for knowledge somewhat. Soon I had more audio than my iPod had room for, full of discussion on books, language, the humanities, and culture. Since I only listen to podcasts when I'm working out (okay, and sometimes when I'm at work), I have more motivation than ever to be physically fit.

If you're considering allowing podcasts to suck up your time, here are some of my favorites.

Alohomora!: There are a lot of Harry Potter podcasts out there, but I am devoted to this one. It's a global re-read of the Harry Potter books. Each chapter is discussed in loving detail, so it's basically the most awesome thing ever.

Lexicon Valley: This is a podcast about language. It focuses more on the evolution and quirks of language, rather than the rules. So you'll get discussions on why English doesn't assign gender to nouns, or why we start and end sentences with "so." I am completely fascinated with this stuff. Completely fascinated. 

Writing Excuses: Shannan has listened to this podcast for years, but I always resisted, even though I love everything Brandon Sanderson is involved with. I'm one of those special people who would rather read something than watch or listen to it. But, I finally gave it a chance. And of course I liked it. Everyone has their own tips for what works in writing and what doesn't, but the hosts seem more genuine. Not to mention they have fun while doing it.

The Readers: These guys make my reading habits look pathetic. I average about a book a week, but I'm starting to realize that may not qualify me as a true bibliophile. So even though these guys (I can't remember their names—I call them the Brit and the American in my head) talk a lot about books I've never heard of, they also discuss readerly topics I'm very interested in, like why the classics are classics, how the internet has affected our reading habits, and how to find time for reading. Their discussions flow naturally, too—I always feel like I'm listening in on an interesting conversation between experts rather than two hosts who are trying to stay on topic within their allotted timeframe. Plus, I get great book recommendations every episode.

Entitled Opinions: I call this one my humanities podcast. It focuses primarily on literature, but there's also some science, psychology, art, and music thrown in there. I've only listened to a few episodes so far, but it makes me feel like I'm in school again more than any of the other podcasts I've found. (Clarification: this is a good thing.) It's very academic and mind-broadening, so I like it.

BYU Speeches: I didn't go to very many devotionals during my time at BYU. I enjoy this type of thing more now than I did then, though, and it's nice to have a more Sunday-appropriate podcast to listen to.

Song of the Week: The Mysterious Ticking Noise

The Mysterious Ticking Noise, by the Potter Puppet Pals

What the song's about: Nothing.

Why I picked it: I had another post ready for today, but then it hit me that today is Harry Potter's birthday, and I simply can't let it go by without honoring it in some way. Those of you who didn't see the other post during the hour and a half it was up are just going to have to wait, because duty to Harry Potter fandom calls.

If you only watch one Potter Puppet Pals video, make it this one. (Although I would recommend watching "The Elder Swear," too. And the one where Snape says "500 thousand points from Gryffindor." And the one where Ron says, "What's a bosom, Harry?" and Harry says, "Oh look, another page." You know what? Just watch them all. It's a holiday.)

Best line: Dumbledore!

Mood trigger: While this song is especially conducive to late-night giggling fests, there's a good chance it will make you snicker when you're having a bad day, too.

Random observation: One day while Kimberly was making some toast, she started singing, "Toast. Toast. Cinnamon toast." Now, we Carters often make up our own lyrics to beloved songs, but we rarely get as far as we did with our Potter Pals remake. After a half-hour of brilliant (and loud) brainstorming, we came up with the following:

Severus Snape: Cinnamon toast.

Ron Weasley: Strawberry (as in, jam—it goes like this: "Straw, straw, strawBERRY." I admit it doesn't work as well as the others).

Dumbledore: Marmalade!

Hermione: Baloney (gross, I know, but there's something highly comical about Hermione crooning the word "baloney" over and over again).

Harry Potter: Peanut butter.

Voldemort: Moldy bread.

We even made up a version with our own names. You should try it some time.

 

7 is a magical number

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out seven years ago yesterday. MuggleNet wrote a special anniversary post about that day, so I've been walking down memory lane a bit as I've read others' experiences with reading that book for the first time.

I think a pretty good way to gage whether an experience is life-changing is if you remember the tiniest of details surrounding that event. I've already written about what it felt like to hold that book for the first time, but there are other moments that are just as clear:

• I was really ornery during the 40-minute drive home from the Orem Barnes & Noble because Shannan was reading the family copy of the book by flashlight and I had to be responsible and drive.
• I was sitting on some drink crates at Domino's when I found out that Norbert was a girl. My manager was bitter that he didn't think to bring his copy to work with him, so he hid in the office during the slow hours while I grinned my face off in my little corner.
• I was sitting under the swamp cooler trying to stay cool when Ron came back. Bored Tyrel kept stopping by to sigh at me, completely flummoxed that I was wasting a perfectly good Sunday afternoon on that orange Harry Potter book. 
• I read the last 400 pages alternating between bouncing on my bed and sitting on the floor. I had to remake my bed that night because my wide range of intense emotions caused it to combust. I cried the whole time I was putting my bed back together.
• Because when I read the last page, I felt like life as I knew it had ended. And it had.

Yeah, Harry Potter is "just" a book and a cultural phenomenon. But there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not grateful it's been part of my life.

A liminal space in Florida

Liminal space is a term you learn early on if you're an English major. Essentially, it means a point between two spaces. It can be a physical space that separates one world from another, a pivotal moment in someone's growth as a person, or even—and I may be stretching the definition a bit here—a pause in time.

My recent trip to Florida was a liminal space for me. For 11 days I rode roller coasters, played in the water, and ate lots and lots of food that I didn't have to prepare.

When we left it was still May. Now, it's not just June; we're in the double digits already. It always surprises me when I get back from vacation that nothing stopped while I was gone; mail was still delivered, emails still came in, people still went to work. It's like I lost a week and a half of my life; it went on as normal, but I was somewhere else while it happened.

Which is the whole point of going on vacation, of course.

This particular trip was special, because it was the first time the entire Carter clan has vacationed together since the kids started getting married. Eleven people in all, forced to hang out with each other for 11 days.

• We mastered the child swap/fast pass systems to take most of the line-standing out of six amusement-park-themed days.
• None of us learned to like Florida's drinking water, though.
• So. Many. People.
• Most of us experienced for the first time the fiery inferno that is heat + humidity (though luckily, the worst of it waited until the last three days). I have new sympathy for the Wicked Witch of the West.
• We ate too much food, of course. I gained a whopping 7 pounds on this vacation, despite all the extra walking and melting.
• Some of us enjoyed Harry Potter world more than others. And some of us mourned that we came all the way to Florida only to miss the Diagon Alley expansion by a few weeks. And that there wasn't very much Ravenclaw stuff. Not everyone wants to be a Gryffindor or Slytherin, you know.
• There's no way we'll stay in a hotel during future Carter vacations. Staying in a house with a private pool and jacuzzi spoiled us for good. Now, if we could just find a house that actually had comfortable beds. . . .
• Some of us went from having no desire to go snorkeling to thinking it was pretty cool. Okay, awesome.
• And Florida's ocean is so, so warm.
• Having two 2-year-olds around made the trip more fun for everyone. Except perhaps their parents.

And the best part is, we made our triumphal return to properly dry air without killing each other. Accompanied by thousands of hours of video footage to document every stage of our journey. Maybe I'll share some of it in another post, because that's another great thing about vacations—making everyone else jealous of your good time.

Time for an update

There's something about updating my life in writing—even if it's just to myself—that is soothing and tension reducing. If my thoughts aren't organized, I don't function properly. There are a lot of Harry Potter–related magical objects that I've longed to try out, but a Pensieve is one object that I think would be most beneficial for my Muggle lifestyle. Even small minds need an assistant sometimes.

Good thing I enjoy writing.

New job

• Switching from a small company to a huge company is quite the adjustment. So far most of the changes have been positive, though. The extra red tape is well worth the extra employee perks.
• It's still strange to me how nice everyone here is. Like, genuinely nice. It makes me feel guilty for forgetting almost everyone's name when they introduce themselves and welcome me to the company. I have new sympathy for teachers who have to learn hundreds of new names every semester.
• USANA is all about wellness, and it's rubbing off on me already. I bought a water purifier because I'm a little freaked out now about the stuff that's in my tap water. And I've added some stuff to my daily exercise. And I'm probably going to stop bringing in chocolate-covered raisins to snack on. :(
• I love, love being able to tell people I'm an editor and leave it at that. No lengthy explanations required. And I love working with other word nerds again. I have someone to cringe with when words are misspelled and punctuation is mispunctuated. Being a solitary nerd is fun sometimes, but it's exponentially more fun when others encourage your nerdiness.
• Speaking of nerdiness, I'm not the only one here who has read Harry Potter. Thank freakin' goodness. And I'm not the only BYU fan, either.
• My commute is only 8-ish minutes longer than my old commute. On the one hand, it's nice because I don't have to get up much earlier, but on the other hand I'm a little bummed because I was looking forward to some extra music-listening in my car.
• I need more stuff to decorate my cubicle walls with. I have much more space than I'm used to, and my two pictures and Y sticker are looking a little sad and lonely right now.

School

• I turned in my thesis on Sunday. It wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be because I feel like only 1–2 of my 12 essays are publishable. Writing is hard.
• Just a few more weeks of this thing and I'll be a master. 
• That is, if I pass my teaching class. That class is a bully to me.

Apartment

• Last week they upgraded the plumbing in my apartment. All of my bathroom and closet stuff was scattered throughout my room. Every morning I had to partially reassemble my bathroom so I could get ready and then dismantle it all again before I left. For a few days, there were holes in my walls and ceilings. Then it smelled like paint. But what bothered me the most was the dust. Oh man, it drove me crazy. Everything I own was caked in it. My big Friday night plans involved eradicating that dust, and let me tell you, it was hugely satisfying.
• Last night my fridge stopped working. It's a super annoying problem to have.

Other

• I bought Words of Radiance the day it came out even though I had just barely started reading Way of Kings. (A few more days and I'll be ready for WoR.) Brandon Sanderson's mind boggles my mind. That guy could probably put the biggest Pensieve in the world to good use.
• I am quite pleased with BYU's better-than-expected NCAA tournament bid. We couldn't have asked for a better spot. (Have you seen the basketball team's reaction video? It's awesome. And hilarious. I think it will even make the BYU haters smile. Here's the video link if you want to watch it.) I'm cautiously optimistic about Thursday's match-up, even without Kyle Collinsworth.
• Yesterday it was so windy I was slightly afraid for my life.
• I forgot about St. Patrick's Day again. I think I've worn green on purpose on St. Patrick's Day exactly once in my adult life.

My unlucky birthday

I've been looking forward to this day for quite some time. I haven't had a Friday-the-13th birthday since 2002, when I turned the wee age of 15. That was the year that started my I-don't-want-people-to-know-it's-my-birthday complex. (Let's just say that I got a little too much attention, which is kind of traumatizing for a teenager who hates being in the spotlight.)

This year I relented a little on my birthday secretiveness because this particular birthday is more awesome than all the others. Not only is it Friday the 13th, but it's also the year 2013 and I'm turning 13 x 2.

So here are 13 highlights of my unlucky birthday.

1. Unsurprisingly, it all begins with Harry Potter. Technically, the announcement that J.K. Rowling will be writing the screenplay for a movie series based on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was released yesterday, but I consider it an early birthday present because today, the world revolves around me. The series will begin in 1920s New York and will star Newt Scamander, author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Just think about all that that might entail: American wizarding culture, cameos from an auburn-haired, 40-year-old Dumbledore, concrete representations of magical creatures we haven't seen yet. While I would still rather get an 800-page book set in the Harry Potter world, a movie series written by JKR herself is the next best thing. I always knew in my heart that she wasn't done with Potter. Judging by how much Harry Potter Withdrawals suck for avid fans like me, I can't even imagine what they must be like for her, the person who knows that world and its people better than anyone else. Mark my words, this won't be the last Harry Potter project she's involved in, either.

2. It was rainy and gloomy most of the day. My favorite kind of day.

3. The sales/marketing team at my office has a tradition that we go to lunch for everyone's birthdays, no questions asked. It's great.

4. I was serenaded to four times today. It was embarrassing all four times.

5. One of the miracles of life is that no matter how full you are, there is always room for a few bites of cake / pie / ice cream / brownie. With extra chocolate on top.

6. Two of my co-workers argued over who got to pay for my meal.

7. I left work early and took a nap. I dreamed that I was taking a drama class and we were split into four groups to rehearse. Kimberly's group was awesome because James Moyer was in it. But I was stuck with Crosby (from Parenthood)—who wouldn't cooperate because he was playing with Jabbar the whole time—and a murderer who kept riding his scooter up and down the stairs.

8. This text from Tyrel: "Happy birthday ducky's sisster."

9. Listening to my Top 10 Favorites playlist in my car.

10. Austenland was both hilarious and satisfyingly swoon worthy. I kind of want to go see it again.

11. Going to a restaurant just because it looks interesting from the outside is risky, but we scored big time. Now I know of a sit-down restaurant 10 minutes from my apartment that has good Mexican food. And I've decided that I might have a salsa bar at my wedding. Along with the already planned root beer floats and fudge.

12. Mom's after-9:00 personality. "Captain Underpants!"

13. Nerdy gifts. I am now a proud owner of the Elder Wand. When I pulled it out of its velvet encasement I became drunk with power and Avada Kedavra'd Shannan on the spot. I also got an awesome Harry Potter pillow, a new piano book, piano earrings, another Piano Guys CD, an earring holder, and chapstick (green apple Jolly Rancher and chocolate syrup—it actually comes in a container shaped like a chocolate syrup bottle and it tastes like chocolate).

Yup, my fifth Friday-the-13th birthday was pretty freakin' awesome.

Harry Potter Withdrawals. Again.

I think I need to join a Harry Potter support group. It would do me some good to be around people who fully understand the grief I feel every time I finish the series, to talk me out of the crushing guilt that descends upon me when I crack open another book when Harry Potter is still reeling in my mind.

It's comforting, in a way, to know that after 6–10 re-reads, the Harry Potter series still has the power to  stimulate such powerful emotions in me. The Quidditch Final in Prisoner of Azkaban still sends me soaring to Cloud 9, Sirius's death in Order of the Phoenix still breaks my heart, and Deathly Hallows still leaves a gaping hole in my soul when I finish reading it.

It always boggles my mind when I hear of people who gave up in the middle of the series because they were bored, or who haven't gotten around to reading the books yet. Don't they know that every sacrifice—whether it be sleep, money, time spent with family and friends, or PTO time—is worth it to feed your soul with this world that J.K. Rowling so exquisitely describes?

But I've come to the understanding that Harry Potter is my perfect series. That's not to say it doesn't affect thousands of devoted fans the way it affects me, but rather that its perfect blend of humor, lovable characters, and wonder is the exact right formula to touch me the way it does, to continue to entertain me after reading the books more than any sane person should. Harry Potter isn't this wonderful elixir to everyone, but it is for me, and for a lot of other people as well.

So I've checked off phase one of my Harry Potter Withdrawals recovery process: write about my feelings. Now it's time for the most painful step: pack the books away and read something else. I think I'll go easy on myself and start with The Tales of Beedle the Bard.