Musings on the Olympics

I love the Olympics. I've been faithfully watching my favorite events (swimming and gymnastics) for over a week. Now that Michael Phelps has swum his last race and the women gymnasts are done competing for individual gold medals, my life will mostly resume its normal pace, one in which the evenings aren't decided by the number of athletes I just have to watch compete.

A few thoughts I've had while watching the Olympics from my pad:

• Defeating Voldemort with a horde of Mary Poppinses is a brilliant idea in theory, but the execution of it was . . . lacking. There should have at least been some wand work going on. Hagrid could have led the Mary Poppinses with his own pink umbrella.
• If I had planned the literature section of the Opening Ceremonies, it would have included a firework show put on by Dumbledore and Gandalf--that would have topped the Beijing Opening Ceremonies no sweat. Then an epic battle between the good guys and the bad guys would ensue. King Arthur would lead the good guys and would go charging into battle shouting, "FOR NARNIA!" Then the bad guys would fall into the fires of Mordor, which would be used to forge the Olympic rings.
• I can't decide if it's a bigger travesty that most of the athletes who enter the games will not return home with a medal, or that many of the silver medalists are bitterly disappointed.
• I'm not convinced that Michael Phelps is done swimming.
• The women's gymnastics commentators need to brush up on their vocabulary. They've used the words"catastrophic" and "unbelievable" so much that they've lost their meanings.
• I also wish that the commentators would employ the rule "If you can't think of anything not obvious to say, don't say anything at all." For example, if a gymnast flails a leg out while she's on the balance beam, I'm pretty sure the audience will still understand what just happened if the commentator doesn't say, "That was a slight balance check."
• If I were a male diver, I would protest the uniform requirement. I don't care how much I loved the sport; I wouldn't succumb to such humiliation without a fight. But, what do I know? Maybe guys like to look like they're wearing diapers.
• Sorry, but I think track and field is boring unless they're showing the runners in slow motion so you can watch their faces wobble.
• I really wish there was a Olympic "no spoiler" rule on the internet. I accidentally learned the outcome of at least three of the major events before I got to watch it. The spoiler rule will never happen, so I'll just settle for complaining.
• I actually watched some of the commercials for marketing education purposes. But I still hate them. Especially the Mountain Star Healthcare one.
• I feel slightly patriotic when I'm on a walk and I pass dozens of houses that are watching the Olympics.
• Watching these toned and fit athletes do incredible things makes me want to work out. My workout of choice is cross stitching on the couch.