Dreams and performances

Last night I had a dream that we had our concert. I've been trying not to think about that all week, but with Saturday looming closer and closer, it's kind of impossible to not think about it. I wasn't nervous about it until I had this stupid dream—now I'm afraid that everything is going to go wrong, just like it did in my dream.

In my dream, we never got to have a dress rehearsal because Tiffany was sleeping, Kimberly was out fulfilling some obligation or another, and who knows where Shannan was. So me and Mom tried to pull it together but it never happened. When the concert started, there were 1000 people there, but by the end of the concert we only had 100 people left. Tyrel did the wrong Bill Cosby impression, kids were running across the stage while we were performing and I was pushing them off in my anger, Shannan kept trying to hold my hand while we were singing "Somewhere Out There," and my Aunt Deona got up in the middle of the performance and told us that we needed to spruce things up a bit because we were too boring.

Strangely enough, I didn't dream of major mess-ups or costume mishaps. So I think what worries me the most is just the fact that I haven't been in a performance like this since high school. It was all good fun when I was in Trouveres, but this is a concert that WE put together on our own, simply for our own entertainment. (There are other reasons, of course, but when it really comes down to it, we just want to show off. :) ) I think the thing that worries me most about this whole thing as what people will think of us for putting on our own concert—starring ourselves.

But that is just stupid. People do stuff like this all the time. And how many people get to perform with their mom and sisters? Actually, in Mormon communities performances like these aren't that uncommon, but still.

But I think the most important thing about this concert is the journey we took getting here. When I bought all that a capella music for my mom last Christmas, I didn't think that we would actually make it to where we are today. I figured that we would just talk about having a concert and have fun singing with each other every now and then.

However, it was the concert idea that kept us practicing. If we didn't have that goal in mind, we would not have practiced once a week for several months. We Carter girls have busy lives (except for me at—I have no life right now) and we would not have been able to sacrifice the time if we didn't have a greater purpose forcing us to get together. We never would have mastered any of our songs and we would have missed out on hours of giggling, memories, and outrageous choreography. (Don't worry—most of our choreography didn't make it to the final cut.) And all that singing, of course. Jeremy thinks we just giggled all the time, but there was some singing going on.

So I guess I'll keep that in mind tomorrow when I find myself on a stage for the first time in 4 years. When we start adding more husbands and kids to the family, we won't have nearly as much time for stuff like this, and I know that I will remember these days fondly. Even if tomorrow is a huge flop, it was still fun getting there.

Still, I'll be a heck of a lot more calm after this is all over.