But I finally got my sleeping pattern back on track again and I am going to try really hard not to take a nap again.
I'm kind of surprised that I haven't gone crazy yet. I've been out of work for almost a month now and I don't leave the house that often. There are definitely times when I wish that I had more in my life, and on days like today I am sick to death of being around Tyrel all the time, but for the most part, this freedom hasn't been so bad. It has forced me to slow down a little (actually, a lot) and to enjoy life the way it is.
Sometimes I will frantically try to finish up new projects because I figure that once I get a job, I won't have time to finish anything. But then I don't hear back from the latest person I had an interview with, and things will slow back down again.
I have found that I am not as self-motivated as I thought I was. If there is no reason to do something—whether that be money, grades, or responsibility—I have a hard time making myself do it. I know I should be using my time to help others, not just to indulge myself. I could be doing more to prepare myself for a career—I've only opened my new Chicago Manual of Style a couple of times. You would think that boredom and lack of excitement in my life would be a great motivator to get myself out there more, to accomplish something that'll affect someone other than just me. But I have become accustomed to this easy life I have got going.
I guess this shouldn't surprise me, though. I have always been a lot more productive when I have too many things on my plate.
Sigh. I don't know if this blog entry was sufficient to sidestep my nap. When you've got all the time in the world to do stuff, it's really hard to actually DO stuff.