Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Another mid-day drag

The hour is once again upon me. I have done my routine for the day—I worked out, applied for a job, took a shower and did my hair (which was a bit silly of me because it was raining; straightening your hair during a rainstorm is a bit like eating a candy bar while washing your face), made lunch, watched a movie with Tyrel, read Harry Potter—and it's only 1:24. It is usually about now that I start to get bored and really sleepy. I've never been much of a morning person, and afternoons definitely aren't my favorite either. I'm much more alive at night.

But I finally got my sleeping pattern back on track again and I am going to try really hard not to take a nap again.

I'm kind of surprised that I haven't gone crazy yet. I've been out of work for almost a month now and I don't leave the house that often. There are definitely times when I wish that I had more in my life, and on days like today I am sick to death of being around Tyrel all the time, but for the most part, this freedom hasn't been so bad. It has forced me to slow down a little (actually, a lot) and to enjoy life the way it is.

Sometimes I will frantically try to finish up new projects because I figure that once I get a job, I won't have time to finish anything. But then I don't hear back from the latest person I had an interview with, and things will slow back down again.

I have found that I am not as self-motivated as I thought I was. If there is no reason to do something—whether that be money, grades, or responsibility—I have a hard time making myself do it. I know I should be using my time to help others, not just to indulge myself. I could be doing more to prepare myself for a career—I've only opened my new Chicago Manual of Style a couple of times. You would think that boredom and lack of excitement in my life would be a great motivator to get myself out there more, to accomplish something that'll affect someone other than just me. But I have become accustomed to this easy life I have got going.

I guess this shouldn't surprise me, though. I have always been a lot more productive when I have too many things on my plate.

Sigh. I don't know if this blog entry was sufficient to sidestep my nap. When you've got all the time in the world to do stuff, it's really hard to actually DO stuff.

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