Before getting into the car: This is going to be so easy. Anyone who can reach the pedals can drive an automatic.
Starting the car: Shoving your left foot into the ground won't help the car start.
Turning the car off: Repeat to yourself before turning the car off: "Put the car in park first. Put the car in park first. Put the car in park first."
Driving at a consistent speed: How do I control my speed in this thing? [Uses cruise control whenever possible, including in-town driving.]
Turning: Why can't I find the shifter?!? [Attempts to grab the air.]
Slowing down: What, the only way to slow down is to hit the brakes? How boring.
In a traffic jam: Moving your foot from the gas pedal to the brake over and over again is about as annoying as shifting over and over again.
Stopped on a hill: I'm going to take my foot off the brake and just sit here. Because I can.
Stopped at a traffic light/stop sign: Repeat while the light is red: "Lifting your foot off the brake pedal even just a little will cause the car to move forward."