I've consumed a lot of Dove Chocolate over the years, and I've kept a lot of their cheesy, inspirational messages, too. In college I used the wrappers to decorate my side of my bedroom and, when it was time to move back home, added my favorites to the scrapbook pages I put together for my sophomore year.
I usually get some form of chocolate in my stocking each Christmas, and this year it was Dove Chocolate. Before I put those decadent squares delight in my mouth, I still have to make sure I read the Dove message on the inside of the wrapper. From what I've seen so far of this batch, the messages are better than they've been in recent years.
So I decided to take on a challenge to make January a little more fun: do what each of those wrappers tell me to do. Sing for my snack, and all that. (Note: I did not make a healthy-eating resolution this year.)
Things didn't really go as planned though, due to what happens whenever anyone tells me to do something I don't want to do—the rebel breaks free. And when I'm already battling post–New Year's blues, snark becomes a coping mechanism.
You'll see what I mean in a bit.
1/5: Quote your dad. "I have to do everything around here" and "Un. Be. Lievable." are some of my favorites.
1/6: Improvise. This one is really hard to do on demand. Does coming up with names to call Coach Krystkowiak count? (Fake Coach K is the nicest one I've heard, and I'll be calling him that in printed form from here on out because I don't want to go through the trouble of memorizing that spelling.)
1/7: Take a run on the wild side. I drove to work in a cloud today. It was pretty wild.
1/8: Share something offline. You mean, like talk to someone in person? Millennials don't know how to do that.
1/8: Happy Un-Birthday. Oh, be quiet, I just wanted some chocolate.
1/11: Build a bridge . . . with chocolate. This bridge will save ants from falling in the tiny crack. If they can survive the trek over the bridge.
1/11: Show up without a reservation. Well, I could go to a meeting without RSVP'ing, but that just seems silly.
1/12: Make all food finger food. Tell me, how am I supposed to turn this into finger food?
1/12: Coin a new catchphrase. This isn't new, but I do say it a lot: "Why, hello."
1/13: Ignore the clock. I did that this morning as I was catching up on some reading. It was lovely.
1/15: Actually go to a bookstore. ARE YOU FREKAIN' KIDDING ME? I've done pretty good so far this year with curbing my superfluous spending, and now you throw this at me? How about we strike a compromise. I'll be in Portland in a few months, and I promise to spend hours at Powell's Books.
1/20: Solve all arguments with a dance-off. Ha. Yeah, not happening.
1/23: Start a game of tag with your friends. Most of my friends who live nearby are imaginary, so this shouldn't be too difficult.