Friday, January 22, 2016

This post is sponsored by Dove® Chocolate

Okay, Dove didn't actually sponsor this post, but I like that title too much to change it.

I've consumed a lot of Dove Chocolate over the years, and I've kept a lot of their cheesy, inspirational messages, too. In college I used the wrappers to decorate my side of my bedroom and, when it was time to move back home, added my favorites to the scrapbook pages I put together for my sophomore year.

I usually get some form of chocolate in my stocking each Christmas, and this year it was Dove Chocolate. Before I put those decadent squares delight in my mouth, I still have to make sure I read the Dove message on the inside of the wrapper. From what I've seen so far of this batch, the messages are better than they've been in recent years.

So I decided to take on a challenge to make January a little more fun: do what each of those wrappers tell me to do. Sing for my snack, and all that. (Note: I did not make a healthy-eating resolution this year.)

Things didn't really go as planned though, due to what happens whenever anyone tells me to do something I don't want to do—the rebel breaks free. And when I'm already battling post–New Year's blues, snark becomes a coping mechanism.

You'll see what I mean in a bit.

1/5: Quote your dad. "I have to do everything around here" and "Un. Be. Lievable." are some of my favorites.
1/6: Improvise. This one is really hard to do on demand. Does coming up with names to call Coach Krystkowiak count? (Fake Coach K is the nicest one I've heard, and I'll be calling him that in printed form from here on out because I don't want to go through the trouble of memorizing that spelling.)
1/7: Take a run on the wild side. I drove to work in a cloud today. It was pretty wild.
1/8: Share something offline. You mean, like talk to someone in person? Millennials don't know how to do that.
1/8: Happy Un-Birthday. Oh, be quiet, I just wanted some chocolate.
1/11: Build a bridge . . . with chocolate. This bridge will save ants from falling in the tiny crack. If they can survive the trek over the bridge.

1/11: Show up without a reservation. Well, I could go to a meeting without RSVP'ing, but that just seems silly.
1/12: Make all food finger food. Tell me, how am I supposed to turn this into finger food?

1/12: Coin a new catchphrase. This isn't new, but I do say it a lot: "Why, hello."
1/13: Ignore the clock. I did that this morning as I was catching up on some reading. It was lovely.
1/15: Actually go to a bookstore. ARE YOU FREKAIN' KIDDING ME? I've done pretty good so far this year with curbing my superfluous spending, and now you throw this at me? How about we strike a compromise. I'll be in Portland in a few months, and I promise to spend hours at Powell's Books.
1/20: Solve all arguments with a dance-off. Ha. Yeah, not happening.
1/23: Start a game of tag with your friends. Most of my friends who live nearby are imaginary, so this shouldn't be too difficult.


  1. What - what? They have those kind of things inside doves now? I might have to get some.

    ps - this made me laugh alot. Best post ever.

  2. 1/8: Happy Un-Birthday. Oh, be quiet, I just wanted some chocolate.

    Ok.. this could mean different things to different people. But for me this was so much fun. My birthday is February 29th... this year is an un-birthday year for me. So I opened it today... several days before my un-birthday... so it was a lot of fun. This wrapper is a keeper.