Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Some pet peeves

  • The phrase "That's too funny!" How can something be too funny? Is there a limit to a person's threshold for funnyness? Will I explode if I accidentally read or hear something that crosses the appropriately funny line? Has "That's soooooooooooooooooo funny" gone out of style? Or is this just another example of ridiculous political correctness trying to appease .000037% of the population that gets some sick pleasure out of finding offense in everything that exists?*  
  • When restaurants close at 9:00 p.m.
  • When Thanksgiving is less than a month before Christmas.
  • Jiffy Lube.
  • When people are too busy complaining about the cold and the snow to appreciate the magic of a winter wonderland. If you're one of those people, please move to Mexico.
  • When someone hands me candy instead of chocolate.
  • When BYU basketball games take place before 5:00 p.m. on weekdays.
  • When musicians record one song, insert a ginormous break, and then record another song, all in the same track. WHY DO THEY DO THIS? IT MAKES NO SENSE.
  • When you work on a day most people take off and email is down.
*It's probably just one of those unexplainable language phenomenons caused by airheads.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

That time my car was a fridge

Sunday night, after putting enchiladas in the oven, starting my dishwasher, and wiping down the kitchen (a rather satisfying succession of actions), I opened my fridge to put the cheese away. When the light didn't pop on, I groaned.

I know better than to assume that when your fridge light isn't working, it's because the light bulb is out. (Learned that one the hard way.) Usually it's something more ominous, like no power in critical power outlets. Like, say, the power outlet that keeps your perishables from perishing.

The frustrating thing was, I knew there was a simple fix to the problem. They told me so the last time this happened, but they left out a crucial piece of information: where to locate the magic switch that would make my fridge hum again.

Major communication fail.

Since nothing electrical in my apartment is located in the obvious place (I still have a hard time finding the light switch in the dark, even though I've lived here for over two years), I couldn't find the magic button on my own. All I got from my fiddling was flashing clocks that needed to be reset.

I started to resign myself to another fridge's worth of food gone to waste, when my dad pointed out the obvious: it's cold outside. The entire state is basically encased in a giant freezer.

So I hauled my food out to my car. My only worry was that my food would overfreeze, actually, since the low that night was 15 degrees. My solution was to put a blanket over my enchiladas and a few other fridge items. (Laugh all you want, but it worked.)

With my food stored outside, I envisioned living like a pioneer for the next 15 hours, running outside to the "icebox" in my coat and slippers when I needed milk for my cereal. Funny how we modern wimps put ourselves on the same level as the pioneers when one appliance fails.

The next day I worked from home. I didn't want anyone pushing any magic buttons without my being there to witness it this time.

All in all, what could have been a much more annoying problem ended up being a little adventure that forced me to use my dormant primitive creative powers and gave me an excuse to work from home bundled up in comfy clothes and blankets. Not a bad situation to find yourself in.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Thoughts with no theme

  • It's quite a luxury to be able to dump your thoughts on a page without having to connect them in any way. English teachers don't let you do it, editors don't let you do it, and neither do themed blog challenges.
  • But today, I'm doing it.
  • November is almost halfway over, and I still haven't gotten that hankering for Christmas music yet. This is why I want it to get colder—it's the only way to fix this weird problem.
  • My hair is short again, and it's so refreshing. I don't know why I hung on to that dead weight for so long.
  • Today I learned that these awesome bikes are called Wiggle Bikes.

  • I also learned that they have a 110-pound weight limit. But don't let that stop you from channeling your inner child.
  • Also, they should make adult versions of these bikes. I'm positive they would make family reunions more fun, not to mention their YouTube possibilities are almost limitless.
  • I've been on a crocheting kick lately. This is what I'm making right now. Except it's green.
  • There are only two full work weeks until Thanksgiving.
  • I really hate renewing my temple recommend. You know those stories you always hear about the increased opposition an individual faces when they decide to go through the temple? It happens again when you renew your recommend. 
  • Daylight savings is really messing up my workout routine. Goodbye until March, evening walks.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Let's hear it for the men

It's a pretty good time to be a woman. We don't have to rely on rich husbands to achieve success and status. We can save ourselves from the dragons of the world. Our opinions are respected. We can, in theory, have it all.

After centuries of being silenced and undervalued, it's great that women today are recognized as viable human beings.

But something happened to the other half of the population in the process. Some men lost their way as women rose up and claimed what belonged solely to men for centuries. The pressure to support a family, establish a successful career, and participate in civic duties was alleviated somewhat, as women found ways to make their voices heard and their influence felt.

Without that pressure to drive them, though, men started to get complacent. For years, women have outpaced men in college graduation numbers, for instance. And it certainly doesn't help that people tend to tear others down when they are moving up. How many commercials or TV shows have you seen in the past few years where the woman is portrayed as a successful career woman while the man is portrayed as a messy, clueless guy?

I could write several posts on how women have endured negative stereotypes for far longer than men have, and how there's still a long way to go before men and women are on equal footing.

But you know what I want to see more of? Men being leaders. Men working hard. Men being good fathers. Maybe instead of focusing on encouraging women to pursue a career in male-dominated fields, we can take a minute to remind the men that they are still, in fact, strong, smart, capable, trustworthy people. Maybe instead of agonizing over the many places women are absent, we should think for a minute about why we have two halves of the same race.

Could we do better to ensure equal rights in this country? Sure. But let's do it without de-manning the men.