I have never been a purse girl. In fact, I have spent a good portion of my life trying to convince the world of my manliness. When I was little, my greatest desire was to impress all of the boys with my amazing athletic abilities (which, I am sad to say, are not NEARLY as good as they used to be). And today I'm not that different—my greatest desire on a date is to impress a guy with how much meat I can eat in one meal (okay, that's not my greatest desire, but there is a side of me that is curious to see if they will be shocked or disgusted).
Needless to say, in order for a girl to keep up her tomboy persona, she must steer clear of purses. And that wasn't a problem for me until a few days ago—the day I retired my backpack.
I can barely remember a day that I didn't have a backpack. From kindergarten when my backpack was as light as air to college when my backpack weighed approximately a bajillion pounds, my backpack has always been there for me. It carried my books for me (no boy ever did that) as well as the small little things that I didn't want to clutter my pockets with. It allowed me to mock the girls who had matching purses with every outfit. There was no way on earth that I would EVER be seen with a cute little purse that was glued to my shoulder.
But, I don't exactly want to carry around a backpack forever, either. I just plain don't need it, and I'm all for eliminating pointless things. And, thanks to some genius clothes designer out there, I can't stuff my pockets with my wallet, phone, keys, pens, gum, carmex, planner, OR my lunch—because I haven't got any pockets at all! I have yet to find a skirt with pockets that are big enough to not warrant the "Oh, that pocket is so cute!" comment, and if I'm lucky enough to find dress pants with pockets, they're so small that they become a cave of death for my fingers—once they're in, there's not getting out.
So I finally had to reconcile myself to the fact that I would indeed have to have, and actually use, a purse some day. (I have been preparing for this day for years now, actually.) About a month ago, I went on a shopping spree (that does happen to me every now and then) and I found myself in the purse section of Walmart, feeling very sheepish and trying to be a foot shorter than I was so that no one would see me in such an abominable place. It was Kimberly that found a purse that I could stomach the thought of carrying around. It was the most boring one there. It was brown, big enough to hold a book, and it had no lacy or frilly embellishments. A good, functional purse. I was actually kind of excited at the time, and I spent the drive from the Walmart in Payson to Ross in Orem organizing everything into my purse.
But there was still the problem of being seen with a purse. It collected dust hanging from the banister until Tuesday morning because I just wasn't ready to to be a purse girl yet. But, alas, the need for a backpack has come and gone and I am ashamed to say that I have been seen with a purse every day since then. I feel like a little girl playing dress-up. I am already wearing business-type clothes almost every day now, and adding a purse to the mix just makes me feel like I am trying to tell everyone that I am a big girl now. Actually, that's not entirely untrue, because I am rather tired of people asking me if I am enjoying my first year of college. Maybe some day I will no longer look like I'm 18.
Even though I have consented to taking my purse to work, taking it anywhere else would just be too embarrassing. Imagine if I became one of those girls that takes her purse to a PARTY or something. Shudder. The day that happens will probably be the last day this planet ever sees.